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| Title | some poems I wr |
| Date | 23/01/2010 |
| Posted At | 07:01 PM |
| Your my escape from this world of sorrow,pain, and disease but without you I am forced to see the world as it is. You help me stay in control of my anger and all other emotions. You are my aphrodisiac, my drug which makes me high and you are what makes me happy because I make you happy and truly that's all I want, for you to be happy because making you happy is all that matters. I do and always will love you. We are like two angels looking for love, and we both think alike and feel the same. We both never thought we would find it but what's weird is that we are opposites, me dark and you light. You say that I'm your light that guides you through the darkness and that I even spoil you but see I'm the one trapped in this darkness with no way out and your my guiding light which is suppose to help me escape but I won't budge because this darkness is what made me and what allowed me to be me, the person you fell for, the person you love. Even though I won't move doesn't mean that I won't help keep you out of this darkness, out of harm. I will always be here waiting to change your tears into roses, here to make you smile because I love seeing you happy, making you happy. never regret something which once made you smile..... seems like im doing that a lot lately... I regret many things but the one thing I could never regret is meeting you because you changed my view about many things with just the simplest word, hell with just your beauty my views changed and I know you hate being called beautiful, or sexy but you are both as well as sweet, smart and very independent. I can actually say I love you but do you actually feel the same for me? you say you do but I feel like your only saying that you do because your scared of what might happen to me if you tell me you don't because sure its me I know I have issues but see just like you ill be ok. don't worry about how ill feel just let me know what's really in your heart and your mind. what worth am I to this world? this world of pain and misery. this supposed "paradise" which only gives us a short time period of happiness. and then there are those who find it for a long time but lose it when someone very dear to them is gone forever just "sleeping" like the book of revelations says we do uncertain of what is happening, unconscious from the living world. but still what worth do I have against someone of greater ance? of someone older and much wiser then I? what makes it just to kill the old and let the young live to become old to start the process over? why cause the pain of losing this old person whom who love to us if these people are suppose to made in your image. why inflict this pain to us when you are suppose to love us, your very children which you created, us which your suppose to protect from evil, from each other, your suppose to show us what is wrong and right. and then also from the book of revelations it says that you our father, our God whose name is Jehovah in ceartian manuscripts "vengeance is mine, I shall repay" so you will punish those who disobey, who harm us your very children? why not make us peaceful, non-violent? instead of making us with these flaws which can not be in yourself because you are our creator, our father, who sacrificed his holiest son for the evils of all his other children, because you did not wish to kill them and start again. pain follows me like a bear follows its cub eventually pain will die just like the bear because of time just as i grow like a cub into a bear and then the cycle begins again as my kids grow and no matter how much i try to protect them pain always finds a way in. my past still haunts me, it creeps up slowly like a snake an then lunges at me infecting me with its venom which turns me cold like that of mountain tops, it makes me despise and hate myself for being so easily tempted to do that which i had done, for what i can do but there's always that little piece of light, of hope which pulls you out of darkness. There's that 1 thing or person who helps change your view of life, who pulls you out of the darkness even if they don't know that they helped. Becoming insane with every minute as today ends and tomorrow begins and still I wont forgive myself for the sins which I created Time goes by slowly when I wish it go by faster then possible to end this pain and sorrow which escaped after years of captivity in my soul and now it wishes to consume me after years of neglect when i no longer have the aphrodisiac which tamed this beast of hatred, anger, and sorrow. I can feel the cold sense of pain start to numb my body of all emotions and feelings as my sins continue to haunt me as I grow older. I wish this pain would go away but then if the pain goes away so does the icy chill of numbness which I enjoy so much will disappear. The sins of my past are coming back and this time I don't know if im going to be able to keep them locked away like I did so long ago. I don't know if this pain I feel will go away anytime soon even with the day dawning closer till I should feel happy but also the day which I regret is right behind it so much happens in such a small time period like how your walking and then you trip and hurt yourself or when you blink you lose a fraction of time you can never get back. thats the same thing with chances, with life. there will be days where you wish you could change what happened i still do but im also glad i didn't cause now im better because of it, now i can control it, and now i actually can say im happy. | |